Entry 44
The campfire adds warmth and the moon is full. I have
finished writing my last journal entry earlier, and
meditated. Meditation really helps to relax and focus on channeling the
divine power of the Light and this other raw energy. I can feel a
wonder beyond anything else.
The others are sleeping, and the
forest night sounds are beginning. Trevor and I have the first
watch. At some point, Trevor leaves for a nature call, and returns. He
looks right at me but does not say anything, none of the usual business
talk. Also, there is a little blood on his outfit, near his
neck. This is very unusual, and I am suspicious, although, I am usually
suspicious of Trevor, lately. He looks at the sleepers. Something is
wrong. This is not Trevor! He walks amongst them. I see through the
disguise. He stops at Ohm Uri. What happened to Trevor? He turns his
back to me. A fear flashes through my core, as I think what
happened. My heart sinks. I hear a dagger unsheathed. I want to yell,
but nothing. I know this is not Trevor. He bends down. I reach for
that circle of energy, and raise my arm. Trevor, if it is you, forgive
me. I cry and close my eyes, and an anguish washes over my face. This
time, the force is painful and very terrible. I see the bright red
light through my closed and teared eyes. It rocks my core foundation as
a cleric and makes mockery of my promises. The power unleashed could
have killed Trevor - or me. I finally shout out, "Intruder!"
I
open my eyes and see Ohm Uri wrestling with me. Yet, I am standing
still, where I was just a moment ago. No, there is an intruder and what
looked like Trevor before, is now looking like me. Brute is up and
ready to swing, but now, is faced with a similar choice I had, but which
one to attack? One chop from the executioner and I would be split like
a log of firewood. Brute asks the other 'Katherine' first, "What do
you think of Veronica?"
The other replies to my surprise, "I
hate her!" This is easy. I may dislike her, but I would not hate. If
she is injured or in trouble, I would help her. In fact, the very first
time I saw her, I sided with her, by being against Trevor. And, when
Brute carried her off like a sack of flour, I felt for her,
too. Thinking the matter is resolved, Brute unexpectedly asks me the
exact same question.
I reply, "She is misguided, I do not hold a
grudge. I had hoped that you talked some sense into her, using kind
but firm words, over and over again, until it sank in." This is
enough. Before I finish my sentence, Brute murmurs something about
being naive, then turns a huge blow to the imposter. That blow would
have torn me in half and it is disturbing and sickening to see myself,
my double, bleed out on the ground. I want to strike out again, but I
wait, as it changes from me back into the hideous evil vial creature it
always was, and then it stops moving.
I remember it looked like
Trevor. Where is Trevor? The blood on the neck - my heart sinks
again, only briefly, for I turn and see him, aghast with a similar
fear. I don't think he saw my reaction of concern. I can only imagine
what he thought when he saw two of me, with Ohm Uri pinning my double
down and me yelling. Then Brute's attack and he is powerless to stop
it. And all the blood that follows! Also, I don't think he saw me
attacking his back - oh, that would be really bad.
I try to relax and meditate. Afterwards, I must tell Trevor.
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